Jillian
I just had one of the funniest and/or most annoying dreams ever. I still can't decide which category it falls into.

Everyone knows I always manage to meet people with the lowest of IQs; people who are just BLAH!


...when I got there I called his cellphone expecting him to answer it (obviously). Instead his secretary picked up, I never learnt her name but she has the thickest Malaysian Chinese accent EVER!

Secretary: Hullow?

Me: (Puzzled) Er, where is Eric?

Secretary: He meeting, can i hep chu?

Me: Huh, oh yes I'm suppose to meet hi--

Secretary: HE MEE-TING! You jus way for him in the looby!
(He's in a meeting, you just wait for him in the lobby)

Me: No, listen! I just want to know what time will he be done with the meeting.

Secretary: Chang chi chang cho zhing chang ching ching ni zhi ma! (starts speaking in Mandarin and it sounds like that to me)

Me: I don't understand Mandarin, can you speak English?!

Secretary: HAI-yo, I tee-OW you to way for him, you jus way here ok!
(I'm telling you to wait for him, you just wait here ok!)

Me: (Starts losing temper) I don't understand you, do you want me to go in and wait in the office or out here? Make up your mind!

Secretary: ...

Me: Hello?

Secretary: (Breaths)...

Me: Hey! I know you're there! I can hear you breathing!

Secretary: (Breaths)...

Me: Bitch! (looks around to see if there are people around me...) BITCH!

and then I woke up.

Talk about post-birthday dreams...
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