This is probably long overdue since I promised to write about my recurring dream last month (please refer to this entry if you haven't been faithfully following me).

As I have said before, there is an recurring dream that I keep having since I was young. Sometimes I can't even tell if it is a dream or merely thoughts of my childhood. Well, not really my childhood because I know for a fact that what I am about to tell you did not happen. Or exist for that matter.

As far as I could remember my childhood, it started when my parents converted our back room (it used to be a storage room) into my own bedroom for me. I was about 3-4 years old back then. I know it's creepy that I could remember things which happened when I was so young. I also know that I am not wrong about my age as when we were living in that house, I had not started kindergarten yet.

The back room (my bedroom) is located at the back of the house, sharing a wall with the kitchen and another with our garage. I remember being terribly afraid night after night when I hear cats screeching at my window sometimes. Most of the time they are probably fighting and mewing into the night. What was more disturbing was that the cats sounded eerily like human babies. Several times a week I would wake up in the middle of the night and run barefoot to my parents' room in front to seek comfort. Sometimes they ignore me.

Now when I'm all grown up, there is always one dream that I remember as vividly as it had happened last night.

"I would stand in our living room, wearing a BIG hat. I cannot remember the color of the hat but it had a large flower by the side. It almost seemed like I was playing dress-up with my mother's clothes. Only I was not playing. I was just standing there. Watching. Watching as my dad stood on a 5-step ladder - the old fashion kind that opens like an "A"
He was trying to fix a light bulb, as our regular fluorescent light had suddenly disappeared and in its place is a traditional Chinese lantern
quite similar to this one, except it has 5 corners. A pentagon shaped lantern. A dark reddish glow is emitting from the lantern. But what makes the dream so strange is that I remember knowing my mom is in it, but I don't see her. Also there were white sheets draped over the sofas, which are directly under the lantern."
Usually by this time I would be awake with this sad, rather melancholy feeling. What does it all mean? And why do I remember this particular dream so clearly?
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