Jillian R.
It's never tradition (for me) to write a "birthday" entry; but I figured traditions don't become traditions unless someone starts them.

Today is my 25th birthday. 


Being a person who looks at numbers in counts of five, it's natural that I look at my 25th year in life and ask myself if it has turned out the way I want it to. The answer is really quite simple; Yes.


So I didn't get here the easy way. I took the harder, windier road; and at times I fell and scraped my knees a bit.

long-winding-road
Picture from http://truthworks.org/?p=4815

I'd like to share some of my thoughts on these various aspects;

On being privileged; from a young age, I've decided that life doesn't always turn out exactly the way I wanted it to. As a pre-teen I had wanted a Gameboy, but my parents were insistent that it would distract me from my studies and would ruin my future. Wanting to prove them wrong, I devised a foolproof plan; I'd save up my hard-earned allowance and buy myself one. After not being successful for a good many months, I gave up and used the extra cash to buy books and novels from the local used bookstore instead - I couldn't even save enough on my meager allowance to afford brand new books. All those hours of reading and watching endless Hollywood dramas/movies on TV turned out to be the best thing I've ever done for myself - from an educational standpoint.


On my relationships; thinking back, I'd say I had never fallen under the "desirable date" category; since I studied in an all-girl school throughout my schooling. I've never had boys asking me out on dates and queuing by my doorstep for dates (ok, maybe this is exaggerating it a little, but you get what I mean). Therefore in college, with the abundance of boys (and hormones) around, I was dating quite a bit, I must say. I remember that by 21, I thought I had a steady job, steady boyfriend and would often think aloud that I was done with dating and that I was ready to get married. Truth of the matter was; I was nowhere near a steady job, my ex had a fear of commitment and we were poorer than church mice. Needless to say, I was no where near anything steady.


On my family; this has always been a delicate issue for me. I've never been close with my family. My parents being typically Chinese, do not display affection openly and in most of my teenage years I grew up thinking that my parents stopped loving me. Then it came to the point where I had to move to another city to work and that was when I realized how much my family meant to me and how no one could ever, ever stand by you better than your family.


On friends; I've had my share of bad apples, and have learnt the very hard way that friends don't just "happen". We often have to look through the rubble to find the tiniest piece of gem; but so what if you don't find it? Who wants to carry a sack of rubble with them?



(Being friends with people who don't mean it is exactly like lugging around a sack of stones - they do nothing but slow and weigh you down)


I used to have a sack of large rocks which I carry around with me all the time; one for my job which paid peanuts and didn't even leave me enough time for lunch (and sometimes dinner), but I foolishly clung on. One for thinking I could never find the right man, several large ones pretending to be my friends but they only made me feel low all the time - and I should've gotten the World's Stupidest Person award for letting them. Over the years, I've learnt that by dropping these rocks, one by one if needed, the world becomes a better place and we can see people better for who they really are sooner; gem or dirt.

I dedicate this to my gem of a husband; Eric, I love you!   
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